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It sorta came on me this morning, how lonely I am. The anniversary of my mom's death is a little more than a month away. It doesn't seem like it's been almost a year since I've gotten to talk to her, or see her. I still live with my brother, but we rarely see each other, and we're not...close.  We get along well, but there's not really any affection there. I don't think we've ever hugged once in my life.

Someone I love a great deal suddenly cut me from their life, and I don't fully understand why. I know she was going through some hard times, and maybe I wasn't a good enough friend. But I got a rather abrupt message and now I can't get any responses to anything I text or write and I wonder if it's something I did, or said, or didn't.  I'll still wait, because I said I would, and because it would be worth it if she'd someday talk to me again.

The only person I really have left, the only one who's stood by me these last couple years, lives on the opposite side of the country. Though I'll get to see her this summer, it'll only be a short reprieve, and then I'll probably feel even more lonely when I'm back home by myself.

I have co-workers, but I'll never really fit in with them. The strange girl who sits in the break room drawing or writing, or crocheting, listening to music from the 60s-90s or anime theme songs. The only people at work who really talk to me are a rather nice gay boy a couple years younger than me who often gives me rides to work and a woman with teenage children who probably has a dirtier mind than I do, an curses quite fluently. They're nice, and fun to be around, I guess, but they're not people I can fully connect with.

They're not people who understand me.

It always seems that people who do end up going away.
Is it something about me? Is it some sort of curse?
Am I just never satisfied with what I have?

Should I just not try and write journals when I'm tired from work and my energy drinks have worn off?



Daina's Profile Picture
Fandom Pacifist
United States
Current Residence: The Third Level of Hell
Favourite genre of music: Anime music
Favourite cartoon character: Ken Ichijouji
Personal Quote: Just go with it

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UncannyVioletZen Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday :) (Smile)
holmesman Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013
How old are the girls in your Slumber Party of DOOOOOOOM picture?
UncannyVioletZen Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday :) (Smile)
Ouranprincess Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If you're alive still, could you pretty please consider doing more Orgy 13 pairings? Liiike...maybe Axel/Marly?
lerato Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday sweetword <3
UncannyVioletZen Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday :)
SasoriXAkane Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hayato! 8D (It's Otoya!)
lerato Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday, sweety!
Tei-rei Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday!
SHADOW-lover4ever Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011
Happy B-day ^^
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